Archive for luglio 2010

Back to Braziers Park

luglio 15, 2010

Thursday morning, day off. I have two days off in a raw this week, and this is the second one. I awake rather early, I have a bath and come back to my room, to read the greek mith of the Troyan war. I’m reading several greeks mith in these days, I found them very interesting. At around 8.30 I go to the main house. Today is cloudy and cool, very different from the sunny hot days of the last week. In the dining room I find Ruth, Irena, Celine, Julie. Lettie, Anna and Trish come just a bit later. The breakfast is lovely, since there is a couple of different bread to try, which Celine made yesterday. Celine is very keen on cooking, it’s a pity she’s leaving today, it would be nice spending more time together, exchanging different recipes. As i did at LSF, she did copy on her notebook several recipes she used in her days at BP.

Today I’m waiting for a nice visit: Sergio and Manuela are coming to BP, from LSF. They should get here at 12ish, so we’re going to have lunch together, then hopefully a tour of the farm with Celine and Julie, and whatelse, a walk in the woods or a beer at the “Black Horse”!!

Coming back at BP is been nice. It was a pleasure seeing again all the people i was living together with for such a long time. Some of them are gone, such as PEtr, Stuart and BArbara, but all the other are still here. When I got here, two mondays ago, i wasn’t really sure to have done the right choice, coming back. But after few hours and the first greetings and hugs, I felt already at home again, surrounded by frineds. This friendly contest is important to me, since after 7 months in England, I start to be pissed off meeting new people, and i rather prefer having good relathion, to avoid that wird feeling of loniless.

So ten days are already gone. I cooked a lot, I was less involved in the community life, for i didn’t go to any sensory meeting, I worked a bit more in the garden, even by myself, and i tryed to sort my feelings with Julie out.Despite all the tension in the comunity, which I didn’t notice the last time, I m enjoining Chris company, as the beginning, when i goit here in december. I m noticing a different Nick, more present and talkative, after he split up with Dani. Anna seems more smiling and talkative, while Zarin looks more mature. Zoe is just amazing, and Trish always involved in many interesting initiatives. And Hugh is Hugh!! Cindy and John have been the first people i met on the way to BP, they gave me a lift and they’re precious welcome.

It’s also true that in the last two days I was a bit moody, for Kate and Julie, for my past, and my future, and the shame to can’t simply enjoy my time here. After the first days of fun, I started to feel stressed for the need to understand my feeling for julie. We were spending plenty of time together, but it wasn t as when she left. It seemed that 3 months had took away all the intimacy there was between us, and all the desire. Actually hanging out with a woman like Kate made me see julie more as a girl in her early 20s, with all her doubts and indecisions. And since she seemed to be not interested in me anymore, I ended up to consider the story closed.

Looking towards the next months, after Monkton Wild Court, I ve just realized that maybe it’s time to go to Totnes and Stroud, to visit this centre famous for their alternative scenes. I should visit the Shumacher college and the Centre for alternative tecnology in Wales. Then, hopefully, it would be worth moving to BRistol, the greenest english city, in order to look for a job in some ecobuilding company. If i can’t find a job, before Christmas, I m going back home. This is my plan and my life for the rest of the year.